Monthly Archives: June 2016

ACTION, HORROR

THE SHALLOWS

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“We’re gonna need a bigger… rock”

Just when you thought all shark attack stories were the same, The Shallows brings a new perspective to the table with a simple objective and small cast.

Blake Lively plays Nancy a med student who travels to Mexico after her Mom is lost to cancer. She goes on a mission to a secluded beach where her Mother had gone while pregnant with Nancy. Finding peace with the cove and reminiscing through photos of her lost Mom, Nancy then surfs the whole day and on her last run meets her hungry nemesis.

This film will keep you entertained and Blake Lively puts on a great performance, as she is by herself for 90% of the movie. The Shallows plays on the popular fear of being stranded in the ocean with a shark, the most realistic of which would be Open Water. Other films have similar outlines with other dangers, Phone Booth is a sniper, Frozen (Not Disney) is on a ski lift with wolves below just to name a few. There are a few GOPRO sequences that really hit their mark as folks have documented encounters with Great White Sharks in real life (Just YouTube “Shark Attack GoPro” to freak yourself out).

The downfall of this movie is some of its unrealistic moments and there are more than we would like to see. What makes sharks so scary in movies is that they are rarely seen, the fin is enough to terrify most people. When the shark is shown about halfway through the movie, its shock is underwhelming as its depicted using less than desirable CGI. It’s not entirely the filmmakers fault as the studio cut their original budget and they lost their first director because of it.

All in all it is a fun movie to watch and will make you think twice before stepping into the ocean again. While it may not have the realism of Open Water, this film stands on its own when it had the potential to be a complete disaster.

ROASTED RIPPER SCORE

B- (7/10 Shark Bites)

CHILDRENS, COMEDY

FINDING DORY

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Disney and Pixar have extended their animated winning streak with the long awaited sequel to Finding Nemo. Skeptical as always with sequels, I was pleasantly surprised with Finding Dory, a sequel that feels like a companion piece.

We follow along with our friends Nemo and Dory shortly after the events of the first film. Dory begins having flashbacks to her early childhood and remembers her parents, desperate to find somewhere she belongs she begins her quest alongside our favorite clownfish.

Meeting a bunch of new friends along the way keeps this installment fresh and entertaining (of course old favorites are there too). Predictable like most pixar films it is still able to make young children laugh while making the adults tear up. Visually stunning like the first film, the oceans come to life on the big screen while also educated the young audience about the creatures of the sea.

Finding Dory also is able to put into focus the issue of how we are treating our oceans, many scenes show messy and trash infested water. I believe it is never to early to teach children to respect ocean and aquatic life and Finding Dory effectively spreads the message!

Not much bad to say about this one, if you loved the first you will love this one equally, and I encourage parents to point out the educational and environmental points while your kids laugh and cheer for their favorite fish in the sea!

ROASTED RIPPER SCORE – A (9/10 Sea Shells)

COMEDY, THROWBACK THURSDAY

THROWBACK THURSDAY – MURDER BY DEATH

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Throwback Review of the Week: Murder by Death

By Kevin A’Hern

If Condition Don’t Change, This Movie Funny

This week we take you back to the year 1976 where we look at one of the greatest comedies of all time, Murder by Death. The creative minds of writer Neil Simon and director Robert Moore bring a movie with laughs along the same lines as what can be found in Airplane and anything from Monty Python. So if you’ve seen these movies and others like them, you will absolutely love this masterpiece.

The story follows five well known murder mystery writers who are all brought together to a secluded house where they are put in a scenario that forces them to use the skills they have all developed over the years. The mystery they are all brought there to solve: A series of murders that occur right under their noses.

The magnificent cast includes the likes of Eileen Brennan (Clue), James Coco (The Cheap Detective), Peter Falk (The Princess Bride), Alec Guinness (Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope), Peter Sellers (The Pink Panther Strikes Again), and Truman Capote (author of In Cold Blood) amongst the many other talents that fill this comedy classic.

It is obvious that many people are afraid to go back this far into the past, but for this, as well as all the others mentioned above, it is a must see for anyone who claims to be a comedy fan. Given the time period it was shot in it is easy for one to pick apart any little issues their might be within it. But if you are able to look past any and all of those and just enjoy the greatness that is this movie, you certainly won’t be disappointed and will more than likely be drawn into any other movies these tremendous actors performed in.

And now, this week’s TBLEU (Throwback Lesson for Everyday Use)

Throwback Lesson: Never look too closely. See big picture. Things not always as seem, and seeming’s not always as thing. (watch movie and maybe you get word usage) And be weary of cow on wall.

Roasted Ripper Score – A

HORROR, THROWBACK THURSDAY

THROWBACK THURSDAY – DEAD SILENCE

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Throwback Review of the Week: Dead Silence

By Kevin A’Hern

Who’s The Dummy Now?

“Beware the stare of Mary Shaw / She had no children only dolls / And if you see her in your dreams / Be sure you never ever scream.”

In honor of his 11th directed movie having just come out a week ago (Conjuring 2), we take a look back at one of James Wan’s first film’s in which he not only directed but also co-wrote.

In 2007 James Wan brought us Dead Silence which tells the eerie old school style ghost story of Mary Shaw (Judith Roberts). Jamie Ashen (Ryan Kwanten) returns to his hometown of Ravens Fair after the gruesome death of his wife. But lurking in the shadows of the waning town are a series of mysterious deaths thought to be the work of a murdered ventriloquist out for revenge against the families who murdered her.

The positives of this movie are that it’s filled with jump scares, a few humorous lines and moments, and a ghost story that will make you never want to scream again. The biggest negative is that it is a very slow moving movie. Although it has you rattled from the get go, the story as a whole progress’s at a very slow pace as it takes until about thirty minutes in to really pick up a head of steam. You might be drawn in too much to realize this, but this was something picked up by this reviewer.

If you are looking for a good way to spend an hour and a half and you have a craving for something scary, this would be near the top of the list if not occupying the number one spot.

And with each throwback movie we review, we want to express the lesson we learned from this week’s movie in a bit called Throwback Lesson for Everyday Use (TBLEU).

Throwback Lesson: Never tell a ventriloquist you can see their lips moving and if you see Mary Shaw in your dreams (or behind you right now) “Be sure to never ever scream”.

ROASTED RIPPER SCORE – B+

HORROR

THE CONJURING 2

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The best all around horror film since… well the original Conjuring. James Wan defined himself long ago and it’s been amazing to watch the maturity in his storytelling, all while refusing to settle with his success. From Saw to Dead Silence to Insidious to the Conjuring you will not find a better way to watch a horror movie.

Based on the true case files from the Warren’s, the Conjuring 2 takes us to London and chronicles “The Enfield Poltergeist” in which a family is terrorized by a spirit that previously lived in the home. What the Conjuring series does so well is that it makes you focus on multiple storylines and demons. In the original, right off the bat we were introduced to the Annabelle doll (Which has sparked its own spinoff). This film is no different, giving you multiple spirits to keep you up at night, including a demonic nun that you are sure to see in your nightmares.

This film also touches on the Warren’s involvement with the “Amityville” house on Long Island, which of course is a horror icon in itself and is teased at the end of the original Conjuring. If I had to say something negative about this film it would have to be the runtime, at 2 hours and 13 minutes it’s one of the longest horror movies in recent memory. Having said that I am not sure what part of the story you could even cut out.

As sequels go in general it’s extremely difficult to find many that are worthwhile, this should not even be classified as a sequel but more of a continuation. For someone who has seen many many horror films it is really nice going into a theater and knowing what to expect but still coming out surprised. Make sure to stay during the credits for actual photos from the investigation/people involved. As if Wan’s vision wasn’t enough – here is a gentle reminder that ghosts are real!

ROASTED RIPPER SCORE – A (5/5 pairs of underwear)

 

COMEDY

NOW YOU SEE ME 2

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Now You See Me was a surprise hit when it came out a couple of years ago. The sequel does not quite live up to the first installment but is a worthwhile addition to the story of the Four Horsemen.

This movie, much like the first one will keep you on your toes and trying to figure out where the next twist is coming from. This works in a negative effect though as things aren’t as surprising, given you’ve seen the first one. There are a few scenes that drag on a bit as well but that is a minor setback.

I am tempted to still put this movie as a comedy as Woody Harrelson  steals the show playing his character and his characters twin brother. He makes it look easy but i’m sure it was a difficult acting scenario to encounter.

Short and sweet – If you enjoyed the first one you will enjoy this one as well. The only difference being this time you know not to take things as they appear.

ROASTED RIPPER SCORE – B-

COMEDY

POPSTAR

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My best advice to anyone watching this film, sit back and enjoy comedic gold but come in with low expectations and as open minded as you can. In a year where everyone seems to be offended by everything, this film is sure to upset some as it goes out and makes catchy songs that make fun of anyone they can including themselves.

Clearly poking fun at artists like Justin Bieber, Popstar follows Andy Samberg’s “Conner4Real” as he is just releasing his second solo album. Shot mockumentary style and topped with cameo galore (Justin Timberlake, Mariah Carey, Carrie Underwood, DJ Khaled, Adam Levine – Just to name a few).

Some people will hate it mainly because it is stupid, but i’m a firm believer  that sometimes we need stupid. Popstar tackles a lot of mishaps in the music industry, from U2’s ITunes release to Boy band break ups this film seems to hit it all. Take this movie for what it is, leave the stress of your everyday life behind for 86 minutes and just have a blast.

ROASTED RIPPER SCORE – A-

TEARJERKERS

ME BEFORE YOU

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Our first tearjerker review for this blog. Me Before You tells the story of William, who is paralyzed from the neck down and forced to live his days in a wheelchair and be cared for by others. He meets Louisa, played by Emilia Clarke AKA “The Mother Of Dragons” when his parents hire her to become his new caretaker. Louisa desperately needs the money so she accepts the position which she instantly regrets due to the complicated nature of William’s situation. As they get to know each other as in so many love stories they begin to develop feelings for one another.

For better or worse this film is predictable but it works in its favor. Instead of surprising the audience and playing with their emotions they flat out tell you how this movie will end and do it every chance they get. It’s a movie where beforehand the best possible outcome could be that they fall in love and get married but she is forced to spoon feed, dress, and give sponge baths to him for the rest of his life.

It’s a grim feeling in the theater especially when you really think about how little you know about the daily struggles of paraplegics. I found it refreshing that this film sticks to its guns and is not swayed by the possibility of a happy outcome for the audiences sake.

Girls will fall in love with the characters and guys will point out all of the Game Of Thrones and Hunger Games references that they can.

 

ROASTED RIPPER SCORE – 3/5 SNIFFLES

BLURAY/DVD

BLURAY REVIEW – PRIDE + PREJUDICE + ZOMBIES

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Pride and Prejudice is one of the most beloved stories of all time, following the Bennett sisters quest to find true love in a time period where arranged marriages often squashed such hope. No doubt it was on your required reading list in school,  in my case I was required to read the book and watch the movie starring Kiera Knightley and a couple other “Pirate” vets.

The title for this film is pretty accurate, take a classic love story and add an undead element. What I thought would be a complete over the top comedy turned out to be a very effective homage to the original story. Dialogue was roughly 75% from the novel, of course adding in a side story about how zombies came to be and how families train to combat them.

It gets a tad tricky trying to analyze this movie, on one hand if you are unfamiliar with the Jane Austen novel or the other film adaptations you will be completely lost and look like a zombie yourself about 27 minutes in.

On the other hand, if you enjoy the story of Ms. Bennet and Mr. Darcy and are ok with some brutality and jump scares then this ones for you. Do yourself a favor though and let this movie stand on it’s own, comparing it to the Kiera Knightley version is unfair. Obviously that’s easier said than done.

 

ROASTED RIPPER SCORE – B- OVERALL / D (For those new to the story)