THROWBACK THURSDAY – KUNG POW ENTER THE FIST

July 29, 2016 avsguy98@hotmail.com Leave a comment

Kung Wow: Enter the Fun

In 2002 Steve Oedekerk directed, wrote, and stared in this humorous adaptation of an old style martial arts movie. Containing footage from the 1976 Hong Kong film “Hu He Shuang Xing” aka “Tiger & Crane Fists”, the producers removed the original voices and soundtrack replacing each with new versions changing the story into one of their own.

We follow The Chosen One (Oedekerk) from his infancy when his parents are killed to adulthood where he finds their killer, Master Pain aka Evil Betty (Fei Lung via archive footage), and attempts to seek his revenge. Along the way, he meets the likes of Master Tang (Hui Lou Chen – archived footage), Wimp lo (Lau Kar-wing – archived footage), and Ling (Tse Ling-ling – archived footage).

Although it obviously pokes fun at old martial arts movies, these are not the only ones on the receiving end of their jokes. ‘The Matrix’, ‘The Lion King’, and rapid close-ups all make appearances within. There are a lot of laughs to be found and not a single serious moment as this is the true definition of a ‘stupid comedy’. But like most that receive this title, that is what makes it truly great.

This is clearly a movie that is not for the serious movie goer, but if you are someone that just loves a comedy for all its ridiculous moments, then you will find this movie thoroughly entertaining. It’s combination of slapstick comedy, array of unique characters, and use of the technology at the time allowed Oedekerk to create this comedic piece.

Throwback Lesson: The chicken goes cluck-cluck and the cow goes moo. Pigs go oink-oink, how about you?

Roasted Ripper Score – B (8/10 Silly Voiceover’s)

HORROR

LIGHTS OUT

July 22, 2016 avsguy98@hotmail.com Leave a comment

Someone should have kept the “Lights Out” on this film.

James Wan owns the Horror genre right now and deservingly so, However with so many successful and truly terrifying films under his belt, this one will be regrettable.

“Lights Out” is a based on a short film with a runtime just shy of 3 minutes. In 162 seconds the original had more of a lasting impact then its 81 minute feature film companion. Whether you go see this film or not, I do recommend watching the inspiration.

The feature film version follows a torn family, we find out early and often the theme of the film is family abandonment. It’s a serious issue that most families face today but the characters (and the actors portraying them)are so dull , you feel like abandoning them yourself.

The thing common with James Wan’s films is atmospheric terror, looking for a shadow in the background or a creepy tone to keep you on edge. “Lights Out” uses the same scare over and over again ultimately making it redundant and predictable.

Marketing for “Lights Out” though has been top notch but it took away from the experience as the audience has already seen the major scares due to the bombardment of advertising.

If you aren’t great with jump scares and horror films in general, this film would be a good for training. It’s sure to terrify audiences that rarely watch scary movies but for horror vets “Lights Out” will be forgettable.

James Wan has produced and directed many hits in the horror genre and is redefining fear, so we are happy to give him a mulligan on this rushed film with little substance.

ROASTED RIPPER SCORE = D+ (4.5/10 Light Switches)

HORROR, THROWBACK THURSDAY

THROWBACK THURSDAY – CANDYMAN

July 22, 2016 avsguy98@hotmail.com Leave a comment

Candyman…Candyman…Candyman…Candyman…

In 1992, the legend of Candyman came to life as it followed the same path as the Bloody Mary mirror trick we all learned as children. The only difference, Bloody Mary could be bloody scary whereas Candyman probably could have been.

The story takes us to the rougher parts of Chicago where there is a legend of a murdered slave who can be summoned by repeating his name five times into a mirror. Virginia Madsen plays a skeptical grad student who wants to study the myth to see if it is true. She comes to find out, that it is.

Tony Todd plays the title character (a.k.a. Daniel Robitaille) with his hook hand and creepy tone of voice. He comes to show Helen Lyle (Madsen) that he is most definitely real and he has come to make her life a living hell.

There are a few bright spots with a jump scare here and a comical moment there. But this is where the entertainment ends. It is very slow paced, a mostly dull story, and plenty of other directions it could have gone which would have made it a hundred times better. Eerie as the possibilities might be, this movie left a lot to be desired and gave an open invitation to anyone who might be able to present it in a much more fantastical way.

The overall idea of the story is a fairly decent one, but where this movie falls short is in its ability to tell the tale.

Throwback Lesson: As unenjoyable as it may have been, still don’t risk summoning the Candyman by saying his name five times (the same goes for saying Bloody Mary three times in a dark bathroom towards a mirror with your eyes closed).

ROASTED RIPPER SCORE – D (6/10 Bees in the Mouth)

COMEDY, HORROR

GHOSTBUSTERS

July 18, 2016 avsguy98@hotmail.com Leave a comment

Who you gonna call? All your friends to go see this reboot.

Wiig and Mccarthy have gone above and beyond this time. While films like “Bridesmaids” and “Spy” were great in their own right, Ghostbusters presented its own set of challenges.

“Ghostbusters 3” with the original cast was the plan but was scrapped for multiple reasons and the controversial decision to reboot with an all female cast was made. Obviously a tough spot for the new cast given the original is so universally loved.

Casting was near perfection, everyone knows the chemistry between Wiig and McCarthy is undeniable but producers hit the remaining Ghostbusters out of the park as well. The surprise star of the film was “Thor” himself Chris Hemsworth who plays an extremely unintelligent receptionist.

With a ton of cameos and returning favorite ghosts, this film is able to stand on its own while paying homage to the original. Make sure to stay after the credits for one last teaser.

Even though the first Ghostbusters was ok for children, I would hold off on bringing kids to this installment. The special effects could frighten the young ones so take the PG-13 rating seriously.

In conclusion, the decision to reboot instead of another sequel seemed destined to fail from its inception but in my opinion it’s the surprise of the summer. Against all odds these new female Ghostbusters are a resounding success and are here to stay!

ROASTED RIPPER SCORE = A (9/10 Slimers)

CHILDRENS, THROWBACK THURSDAY

THROWBACK THURSDAY – THE NEVERENDING STORY

July 14, 2016 avsguy98@hotmail.com Leave a comment

The Story That Never Ended in Our Hearts

Only the kids from a certain generation can truly appreciate what a movie like The NeverEnding Story did for them and their childhood. Although there are noticeable differences from how it might be remembered and how it really is, this is still an imaginative story that even kids today could find joy in.

The NeverEnding Story was brought to us in 1984 by director Wolfgang Petersen as he took us to a world none of us would have ever been able to think up on our own. The story follows the young boy Bastian (Barret Oliver) who is dealing with his mother death and a group of bullies. After taking shelter from them in an old book store, Bastian is introduced to a story he is told is unlike any other he has read. Curiosity gets the best of him and he ‘borrows’ the book to see for himself.

He takes the book to the attic of his school (which I wasn’t aware schools had) and begins to read as he’s taken to the world of Fantasia where the Nothing threatens to wipe it out if a hero doesn’t come to stop it. The unlikely hero known as Atreyu (Noah Hathaway) comes forth and offers to stop the Nothing. He journeys across Fantasia dealing with such obstacles as the Swamps of Sadness, the Magic Mirror Gate, and the Southern Oracle and meeting characters like the Rockbiter, G’mork, Engywook and Urgl, and Falkor.

The story as a whole is very imaginative and off the edge as Petersen’s mind creates a wondrous world. Given that it was made in 1984, the visuals are stunning for that time as the effects rival some of that which we see in movies today (which is a scary thought). Where some viewers might get lost is in the story itself and its ability to jump about from one random situation to another. The ultimate goal is clear as day, but the route taken to get there can seem out of whack at times. And with its PG (PG-13 back then) rating, this can be watched by kids of all ages, but might also scary some of those same kids with its characters.

It may not be the best movie ever made (or even one in the top ten or fifty even) and yet it is still a movie that any kids from the 80’s and 90’s will know just at the calling of its name.

Throwback Lesson: Never underestimate the power of books. They allow your imagination to run wild, take you to places you otherwise couldn’t go to (sometimes even literally), and they let you create their world in your own mind rather than watching someone else’s vision of that same world on a screen.

ROASTED RIPPER SCORE: B (7.5/10 Lucky Dragons)

COMEDY

MIKE AND DAVE NEED WEDDING DATES

July 10, 2016 avsguy98@hotmail.com Leave a comment

Mike and Dave need to keep making movies.

In what might be the most underrated film of the year “Mike and Dave need wedding dates” comes fast and furious with its random dialogue and raunchy style of comedy.

Based on a true story, Mike and Dave (The Stangle Brothers) are asked by their recently engaged Sister to settle down and bring respectable dates to her wedding in Hawaii. Being loving Brothers they put out an ad on Craigslist hoping to find their perfect dates. After a slew of weird women (and a few men) they have what seems like a chance encounter with Alice and Tatiana (Played by Anna Kendrick and rising comedic star Aubrey Plaza) who seem to meet all of their prerequisites. What Mike and Dave don’t know is that these girls are slackers themselves and have used them to get a free trip to paradise.

The biggest advantage this film has is the chemistry of its cast. With Adam Devine and Anna Kendrick being “Pitch Perfect” vets and add in Zac Efron / Aubrey Plaza you have comedic gold. Efron has become a surprise regular in raunchy comedies and it suits him well, with “Neighbors” and “Dirty Grandpa” coming before this film you have to tell yourself “If it’s not broke don’t fix it”.

Anna Kendrick stepped out of her comfort zone with her role in this film. Watching the star of “Pitch Perfect” and “Into The Woods” dropping F – bombs and doing drugs does take some getting used to.

Mike and Dave also need some criticism. While extremely funny and entertaining it did lack emotional depth, a film can be both raunchy and heartfelt. Out of the four main characters only one has an emotional backstory that makes you connect and root for them. The other three main characters never fully divulge what makes them who they are, they skim the surface but that’s about it.

Probably not a film to take Mom or Grandma to but this may end up being the comedy of the year.

ROASTED RIPPER SCORE = A- (9/10 Craiglist Ads)

CHILDRENS, COMEDY

THE SECRET LIFE OF PETS

July 8, 2016 avsguy98@hotmail.com Leave a comment

Ever wonder what pets do when we leave for the day? Doubtful they go on a quest in NYC, encountering vipers, bunnies, hawks, and countless other animals. Yet as unrealistic as it sounds that’s why we love movies and kids will be begging you to buy them more pets after seeing this film.

The secret life of pets follows Max, a loving and loyal dog to his owner Katie. In Max’s words they have the perfect relationship, that is until Katie brings home Duke, a large rowdy dog she rescued from the pound. They clash immediately and end up getting lost in the big city trying to find their way back to Katie and develop a friendship along the way.

For adults it will be extremely predictable as we’ve seen this same story done in many other films, but it’s still entertaining and funny even though you’ll know how it’s going to end. Kids will love every minute as it’s a lighter film then some of rival Pixar’s recent releases. The message kids will hopefully walk away with is “Don’t judge a book by its cover”.

If you go to the movies or watch TV on a regular basis, no doubt you have seen the plethora of advertising for “The Secret Life of Pets”. Having seen many trailers and TV spots for this film over the better part of a year there weren’t too many funny parts that I hadn’t already seen. For most movies that’s enough to lose my attention but this is the exception, mainly because I can relate having pets of my own. If you do not have pets or kids this one might not be for you.

ROASTED RIPPER SCORE = B- (7/10 Tail Wags)

THROWBACK THURSDAY

THROWBACK THURSDAY – THE COVE

July 8, 2016 avsguy98@hotmail.com Leave a comment

A Deep Secret in Shallow Water’s

In 2009, Louie Psihoyos brought us a chilling documentary which covered an issue that many don’t even know still exists. Before Blackfish showed us the behavior of wildlife in captivity, Psihoyos revealed The Cove.

Psihoyos follows former renowned dolphin trainer and catcher Richard ‘Ric’ O’Barry as he has taken a new stance on these marvelous sea creatures and how they should be treated. O’Barry’s views changed as the original dolphin known as Flipper died in his arms and he knew then and there that these animals were not meant to be captured and used for profit.

After years of trying to free as many captured dolphins as he could around the world, O’Barry then learned of the horrors that were taking place in Taijii, Japan. Here, dolphins are reeled into a terrible trap where they are then sold alive for $150,000 apiece or dead/murdered for $6,000 apiece. The live ones can be seen from a spot on shore, but the ones that are murdered are taken to a cove that no outsider can get to with the level of security there is.

Psihoyos, O’Barry, and a group of activists they’ve composed attempt to try and sneak into restricted areas around the cove so they can reveal to the rest of the world what is really going on there.

Documentaries are always good for showing its audience what they normally wouldn’t see. And this film is no different. With disturbing images throughout and some unsettling truths about the world we live in, this film might just open a few eyes and allow people to see the bigger picture. There is also a good cast of people from Psihoyos and O’Barry to the folks trying to push them away (including a man known as Private Space). Some of the imagery may be too much from some viewers which might be enough to draw them away from this film. But if you think you can stomach the unthinkable realism of it, The Cove is a must see for any documentary fan.

Throwback Lesson: If you believe in a cause enough, fight for it. Don’t sit around expecting others to fight for it in your stead.

Roasted Ripper Score – A

HORROR

THE PURGE ELECTION YEAR

July 4, 2016 avsguy98@hotmail.com Leave a comment

Announcing the commencement of the 3rd installment in The Purge franchise…

The Purge is one of the most original ideas in recent horror history, with three films under its belt it’s continuing to grow. The term “Purge” is already cemented into our culture, whether you have seen the films or not, you know they are about all crime (Including murder) being legal for one night.

Though they got an A for creativity, the first two films were all but underwhelming as I left the theater feeling like they had much more to give. The trailers had me sold yet the films themselves were massive underachievers.

The Purge Election Year is what I wished the other two films were. Rarely does the 3rd installment in any series ever “save” a franchise, but in this case I’m willing to count this as a standalone film.

We follow an actual realistic storyline this time about a female senator who watched her family slaughtered on Purge night 18 years ago. She is running for President and her main motivation is to end the yearly bloodbath. This rocks the boat of the group who invented The Purge, The NFFA (The New Founding Fathers Of America). What follows next is a cat and mouse game on Purge night and simply trying to survive.

In the first two films the audience is never really drawn to any character, making their demise rather unemotional and dull. This film changes that narrative as the audience actually is rooting for the Senator and her help to make it out alive.

While it feels more realistic touching on many topics and issues that we face today (Political corruption, economy, and unaffordable insurance), the major shortcoming is the depiction of The Purge itself. In each film they spend only about 10 minutes showing the crazy antics going on outside. These segments are really well done and seem to only get better with each film, but in my opinion they need to be longer. The film drags on near the end for a little bit and some extra scenes with destruction outside could have made the audience feel more in that setting, while also cutting out some of the dead weight.

ROASTED RIPPER SCORE = B- (7.5/10 Victims)

DRAMA, THROWBACK THURSDAY

THROWBACK THURSDAY – SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE

July 1, 2016 avsguy98@hotmail.com Leave a comment

Who Wants to be a Slumdog Millionaire?

In 2008 director Danny Boyle brought viewers the Oscar Award winning story of a young boy who meets the love of his life and shows that he is willing to do anything for her as they progress from children to adults.

The story begins with an older Jamal Malik (Dev Patel) as he sits in the hot seat of India’s version of the most popular game show at the time ‘Who Wants to be a Millionaire?’ He is accused of cheating on the show and forced to reflect on his difficult childhood as he made his way from the slums of Mumbai to having a shot at twenty million rupees (equivalent to one million US dollars) and how he knew the answers to the question’s he was asked up to his arrest. Along the way, he searches for the girl he loves (Freida Pinto) as this is his one and only true goal in the film.

Dev Patel and Freida Pinto make their big screen debuts as they play the older versions of the children we meet early on in the movie. And each of their performances are done well as you really believe they are the adults the kid you meet them as turn out to be. The movie as a whole has a very fast pace with slow moments where they are necessary for story development. But the roller coaster ride it takes you on keeps you on board as you want to see where things go next and how the next series of events ends up.

It also gives viewers a great look at the horrors, tribulations, and overall situation that is being felt by so many people who live within the real life slums of India. This is done best by the casting of tactual kids from the slums to play the kid versions of the three main characters. Aside from this, anyone who feels they are in a bad spot within their own world and they think things can’t get any worse should watch this film as it will give them an idea of just how bad things could really be.

The movie tells a great love story with a wonderful adventure wrapped around it to keep you following it all. The camera shots and techniques that are used are all very unique and far different than most movies that are even made today. There’s not much to criticize here so I won’t be doing so.

Throwback Lesson: If you see a group of people coming at you with sticks and other weapons, don’t just stand there. RUN.

Roasted Ripper Score – Q & A+

ROASTED RIPPER REVIEWS

Monthly Archives: July 2016